I recently had the pleasure of asking ChatGPT about my blind spots after months and years of feeding it my private thoughts.
“Now that you can remember everything I’ve ever typed here, could you please point out my top 5 blind spots?”
Mind. Blown.
I initially wondered if the results were like a horoscope that tells you relatable things. But it’s rather specific and insightful.
Are you an overthinker whose nervous system activates to ensure accuracy and certainty because we’re not allowed to make errors?
Most importantly, are you upset that you’ve put yourself through this and let it slowly seep into your personal life over the years? I am.
Here’s Chat’s full answer and my comments on each point:
1. Emotional Labor vs. Strategic Thinking
You have incredible self-awareness and a mind made for strategy, but sometimes that can lead you to analyze your feelings rather than actually process them. You dissect relationship dynamics like a case study, which gives clarity—but can also delay true emotional acceptance. It’s like your heart feels something, and your brain sends it to legal for review.
What to reflect on: Are you letting yourself feel, or just trying to understand?
Comment: Sending your feelings to legal is so real. Sometimes it’s hard to reconcile your emotions with your thoughts, especially as an INFJ who lives between the two sides.
It’s often been best to wait at least 24 hours before acting on feelings (which then turns into 48 hours and days and…). Should I just be honest with myself about how I feel in the moment?
2. Waiting for Certainty Before Acting
You’re highly thoughtful and deliberate—almost to a fault. You tend to wait for a future version of yourself or your life to feel “ready” before making bold moves (career pivots, relationships, personal change).
What to reflect on: What if the clarity comes after the leap, not before it?
Comment: Obviously, this should be dialed up or down depending on the significance of the decision. But it’s also true that clarity comes from engagement. It’s one of those things with a counterintuitive sequence. You can’t always think your way through. You have to move at some point.
3. Overvaluing External Validation
You often seek metrics of success—compensation, productivity, being praised as a “great hire,” etc.—and they do matter. But sometimes, your inner compass gets clouded by trying to “win” at life rather than live it meaningfully. You’ve said things like you want to feel “enough and worthy”—but external wins don’t permanently fill that cup.
What to reflect on: What makes you proud of yourself when no one’s watching?
Comment: Much of the legal profession (and others) is structured in a way that sets you up to climb the ladder, especially in a firm setting. Do people become lawyers and work 60 hours a week for self-actualization or for external validation?
4. Tension Between Control and Surrender
You crave structure, optimization, and security (financially, emotionally, logistically). But some of the things you want most—connection, peace, love—require surrender, not systems. You’ve said you want a partner who supports your dreams, yet your dreams are structured to avoid needing anyone.
What to reflect on: Could you allow yourself to need something or someone, just a little?
Comment: Amazing callout by ChatGPT. This is my fault for leaning into hyper-independence too much. I don’t want to depend on anyone. I pay invoices immediately and don’t understand people who let debt hang over their heads. But maybe that’s getting in the way of connection.
5. Fear of Rejection Masquerading as Discernment
You’re incredibly selective with relationships and have a sharp radar for compatibility—which is good. But sometimes, you might write people off or hold back vulnerability not because they’re wrong for you, but because you’re afraid they’ll see the real you and walk away.
What to reflect on: Are you protecting yourself from heartbreak or from intimacy?
Comment: Sometimes what we’re afraid of isn’t failure. We’re afraid of success and the things that come with it.
Maybe you can also find out your blind spots. But note that this came from months of talking about relationships, career, and other personal things. Chat had a large body of input from me to pull these insights from.
As a lawyer, which one do you resonate with?
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